Why do we define ourselves by a number?

Do you ever ask yourself why you constantly feel as though you are defined by a number?

When you were school age, you may have felt defined by your GPA, ACT score or test grades. As you age you may feel as though you are defined by the age you will be on your upcoming birthday, the amount in your bank account, the number on the scale or the size of your jeans. When the truth is…none of these numbers really matter.

Let’s break this down…

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Yes! Do grades matter? Of course! You are granted scholarships based on this number which in turn saves you money (yet another number). In all reality the numbers of school age children may be the most important. While I am not a believer in the fact that standardized tests should be a one size fits all or in existence period (this is a whole other topic)…your overall grades in school contribute to college admission and the amount of money you can get towards your secondary education. Although this is important and can save you money…it still does not define you.

Those darn birthdays. They are really fun until about 29…do you agree? Then it is really time to “adult” and hold yourself accountable for your future. While this should have been important all along (meaning your health, financial health, job) it is when we all really start to think about what comes next as we near that first milestone. I have never been one to really focus too much on my age and have focused more on how I feel…but I find that I am having to give myself an extra pep talk as the next milestone approaches. Age is a case of mind over matter and I intend to celebrate that I am alive and embarking on what is said to be one of the best decades of your life.

You’re only as old as you feel! Don’t let your real age be defined by a number.

The bank account. Never will I be the person that acts as though I am better than anyone else based on the number in my bank account. Now whether or not it is because I don’t think I will ever have enough money to act that way (lol) or just the simple fact that it is not what matters to me, I guess we will never know. Money is a dirty little word, it can be so great and so bad all at the same time. Enough about that.

The number on the scale or the size of your jeans does not define you. Repeat after me. The number on the scale or the size of your jeans does not define you. Why would we let a number shown on a tiny little screen dictate our emotions or how we feel about ourselves? It shouldn’t. Period. Cut the tag out of the back of your jeans if it makes you feel better. The most important aspect of this these numbers is that you feel good and that you are healthy. Put your focus there and don’t let those numbers get you down. Easier said than done, I know! (I shall go take my own advice as I continue on my journey toward health.)

When talking about numbers, let’s remember that perfect does not exist. You are never going to get the perfect grades, be the perfect age, have the perfect amount of money or be the perfect weight. If you think you do/are…well then I guess your “perfect” so keep telling yourself that. Enough said. Carry on.

The Moments

I intend to enjoy life for every minute that I have left . We are defined by our moments. We are not defined by our GPA. We are not defined by our age. We are not defined by how much money we make. We are not defined by how much we weigh. We are not defined by the size of our jeans…

We ARE defined by our moments. Did you hear that? And I intend to fill my forties with countless moments that matter.

Be Yourself. Love Yourself. Define Yourself.

-Stena

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The moment when your reality becomes a reality…

For the past several months, I have been living in what I can only explain as an out of body experience. Am I sad? Happy? Nervous? Anxious? None of which I can answer with a simple yes or no.
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When you want your best friend to succeed so badly and just want them to fully embrace the new experience they are about to embark on – it really outweighs any sadness that I could feel.

These first moments only come along once in a lifetime, it doesn’t happen twice so you want it to be everything it can be. You are giving them the power and independence to be their own kind of awesome and make their dreams come true.

You ask yourself…

What are the types of things you should be reminding them of? Is it brush your hair? Brush your teeth? Eat breakfast? No, instead it is a reminder that this new journey is a privilege and it honestly has the capability to be the best 4 years of their life to date. While it may be a bit overwhelming at times, the rewarding feeling both throughout and at the end of the journey far outweighs any all-nighters they may have to pull.

You should also remind them to exercise good judgement when it comes to the temptations that surround them. Everyone makes mistakes, it is how you learn. But the mistakes that come along with giving into these types of temptations can be costly. So, just don’t do it. Period.

They have always had the privilege of being surrounded by those who love them. They will all too soon have that again. Everyone is in the same position and while there may be a bit of social awkwardness at first, that should quickly dissipate as they grow closer to the ones around them. Soon they will have a new family, that all just happen to be within roughly a 4-year age span. Encourage them to embrace this new family! Once you erase all the pettiness and immaturity of high school, the friends that are made in this arena…can be the forever kind.

Finally remind them: “Yes, you are 18 and therefore the law recognizes you as an adult – I prefer to think of this as an “adult” with so much to learn. Keep that in mind. Please.”

Bottom Line

Thank goodness for technology, it prevents me from turning into a complete basket case. And the good news is that if you’re lucky (like I am) your offspring will often initiate the conversation!

By now you have probably figured out that I am speaking about my best friend who headed off to college 2 weeks ago. The sense of pride I have for what I know she is about to accomplish far outweighs any sadness or anxiety I have about this new journey.

Be fierce, Brooklynn! Be you! Live out loud and whatever you do, do it BIG!

-Stena

To blog or not to blog?

That is the question…

I have contemplated creating a blog for a while now, probably years. Time just does not allow…BUT…I am going to try a take a little time each week and here is why:

  • I figured it is a great way to increase my WordPress knowledge
  • When I first created this site: my original thought was that I could beef up my “blogging” knowledge to better assist my clients in my WSM role. But now I have moved on from that to what seems to be an even more perfect position so that reasoning no longer applies 😉
  • I can share photos and stories with family and friends
  • And maybe I will even learn a little about myself along the way

So…wish me luck! Here goes nothing…

-Stena